ENGLISH OF TOMORROW (EU ANNOUNCEMENT)

ENGLISH OF TOMORROW (EU ANNOUNCEMENT)

The European Commission has just announced an
agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the European Union
rather than German,
which was the other possibility.


As part of the negotiations, the British Government
conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has
accepted a 5- year phase-in
plan that would become known as "Euro-English".


In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
Sertainly, this will make
the sivil servants jump with joy.


The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This
should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.


There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This
will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.


In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new
spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible.


Governments will enkourage the removal of double
letters which have always
ben a deterent to akurate speling.


Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent
"e" in the languag is
disgrasful and it should go away.


By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such
as replasing "th" with
"z" and "w" with "v".


During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd
from vords kontaining
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil
sensi bl riten styl.


Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun
vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil
finali kum tru.


Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German
like zey vunted in ze
forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

(Source:  teraju at Yahoo! Groups)